


The Great Dessert Heist

by iduna



Series: Whose Stupid Idea Was This, Anyway? [14]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alibis, Cole is a Sweetroll, Fluff, Friendship, Josie is Mad, Mystery, Sweet Stealing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 02:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17072129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iduna/pseuds/iduna
Summary: Sweets are missing from Josie's office. Can she find the thief?





	The Great Dessert Heist

**Author's Note:**

> I tasted Panettone for the first time. It inspired this. Yes, it's weird. It made me happy.

First it was the Black Bun that Josie had made for the Starkhaven Ambassador. She’d heard that it was a traditional treat in Starkhaven, and that Ser Malcolm was particularly fond of it. It disappeared right off the tray in her office as she went to greet him at the door. Thankfully, Cullen is absurdly fond of Shortbreads, which is also a traditional treat, and Ser Malcolm was more than happy with the substitution.

A week later she was hosting a small tea party for the Nevarran Attache and had gotten a Linzertorte for the occasion. It was beautiful, and expensive to have made and brought to Skyhold, and when it disappeared, it was devastating. 

While costly, the theft did prevent a diplomatic disaster of epic proportions. Josie later learned that raspberries, a major flavor in the Torte itself, caused the Nevarran representative to become dangerously ill, and break out in hives. Skyhold’s baker has created some lovely lemon sweetrolls for the Inquisitor, and those worked out well in the Torte’s place.

This time, it was a Panettone, shipped from Antiva, to be served to Veronica de Franco, the scion of a Merchant prince of Treviso. She was coming to Skyhold to negotiate a treaty that would provide much needed supplies of dried fish and fruits to the Inquisition. To her horror, after escorting the Signorina into her office, she found that instead of the delightful, fruity bread, there were plain chocolate and almond biscuits instead.

The Ambassador apologized profusely for the faux pas, but Veronica just laughed and said that she was delighted by the change. She explained that she was newly with child, and that the crossing was more difficult for her digestion than she liked. The simpler and less rich fare was much more to her taste.

Josephine Montilyet angrily climbed the stairs to the Inquisitor’s quarters. This was the third time this month that a special food for a guest had gone missing and something had to be done. Try as she might, she couldn’t find the culprit, though she strongly suspected that Sera was to blame. She was going to demand that the thief be interrogated, found guilty, and tossed out of the Inquisition on her ears. 

It was bad enough that Sera played pranks on the noble guests, and that she couldn’t be trusted to wear decent clothing or watch her foul language around the guests. The belching at formal dinners was terribly embarrassing, and the time that she took Baron de Guerre into the undercroft and found she and Dagna in… flagrate delecto… Well, it was time to end that elf’s reign of terror. 

Josie banged on the Inquisitor’s door and opened it with a bang. Stomping up the stairs, she turned the corner and found Carys, Dorian, and the thief playing Wicked Grace with Varric. 

“I trust, Ambassador,” Carys started, “That there is an excellent reason that you barged into my room without waiting for permission? I thought that you were having tea with some muckety muck. Is that over so quickly?”

Josephine bowed slightly to the Inquisitor and then narrowed her eyes at Sera. “There has been another theft, Your Worship. I was going to serve a Panettone at tea, and it was missing when I got to my office. There were…. Plain biscuits left in its place. I believe that Sera has been stealing treats, and I demand that it stop.” 

Nodding slowly, Carys asked, “When did this happen?”

“Less than an hour ago, Inquisitor. It just vanished from my office. Luckily, Signoria de Franco preferred the plain biscuits, but that’s not the point. We can’t just have expensive things go missing. I demand that Sera be questioned and punished.”

Josie was baffled when Dorian and Varric started laughing. 

“I don’t see what is so funny,” she snapped at them. “This is a serious situation that could damage my efforts.”

“Ruffles, if it happened less than an hour ago, it couldn’t have been Buttercup. She’s been here for a good two hours. Hasn’t left once.” Varric pointed to a pile of paper in front of him. “I have the IOUs to prove it.”

“PPPPtttthhhhhhttttttt. Didn’t take any of your fancy cakes. Why’d ya always blame me, anyway?”

Carys lifted and eyebrow and looked at her ambassador. “Well… Do you have anything to say to anyone here?”

Josie sighed loudly, then took a deep breath. “I apologize, Sera, for accusing you unjustly. I shall have to be more careful in the future.” She bowed slightly in Carys’ direction and continued, “I’m sorry for disturbing your game, Inquisitor. If you will excuse me?”

“Of course, Josie. If I can help, please let me know.”

Josephine turned and made her way gently down the stairs, then closed the door with a click. Her footsteps could be heard going down the second staircase and as the door to the great hall closed, Dorian took a sip of wine.

“Well, that was close. I thought she’d catch us for certain. More wine, Bella Cara?”

Plates of fruit bread appeared on the table, as well as a half-eaten loaf of Panettone. 

“Are you going to tell Cole to stop taking things from Josie’s office?”

Carys took a bite of bread and said, “I don’t think so. He’s helping, and it makes him so happy. Next time he steals blueberry tarts we’ll invite Cassandra. Sound good?”

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks to IncreasingLight for her beta. Any and all mistakes are mine and mine alone. As always, please leave Kudos and comments. They keep me writing.


End file.
